Almost Orange
by lesbianavenger
Summary: First attempt at a little BDSM story. f/f, Dom/sub, original characters.
1. Chapter 1

My knees hurt, I'm freezing to death, and I'm blushing from constant embarrassment, but I've never been so at home on my life. I've been kneeling by the door with my collar on and my head down, sans clothes, for about 10 minutes. I used to get bored doing this, but it's been so long now I'm already lost in subspace waiting for my mistress, my queen, my goddess, to come home. I haven't looked at the clock, but I know it's 6:4o pm. Audrey always says she'll be home at 6:45, but she usually comes home 5 minutes early on play days to make sure I'm where I'm supposed to be. I always am, except for once when I overslept. I took a nap after work and woke up to the door opening. I still feel the beating I got that night.

The door opens and I feel a warm hand on the top of my head. I don't look up. I'm supposed to keep my gaze lowered. But I am allowed to smile and feel the warmth in my heart. This is usually the best part of my day. Unless she lets me sit on her lap later. That's the best.

"Hey kitten. Did you miss me?" I nod. "Good girl. I missed you too." She pets my head when she says this.

"Audrey," I look up at my girlfriend, breaking form, but I have to say it. "I love you."

She smiles and tightens her grip on my hair a little. "I love you too pet, but you know I have to punish you for that."

"I know." I smile in defiance. I've been angling for punishment like this every time we play. Audrey swears one of these days she's going to make me regret it, but I know she thinks it's fun.

"Stand up. You're making dinner tonight." I get up and wince at the pain in my knees. I should be used to kneeling by now, but some things don't get easier. Before I can shiver from the cold, I hear, "Go get one of my hoodies from upstairs. Can't have you shaking around hot things." I grin.

"You've made me shake around hot things more than once." Audrey just smiles and sends me upstairs. I pick out a hoodie I got her when we started dating. It's too big for either of us, but it's perfect for wandering around the house naked. Once I'm as clothed as I'll probably be tonight, I go back downstairs. "What do you want to have tonight?"

"Guess."

"Macaroni?"

"You know me."

"I should hope so." I set to work boiling water and singing. I love the feeling of bustling around the kitchen. I love all chores, especially when I get rewarded for them. Making dinner is probably the most normal thing that's going to happen this evening. After that, I'm not Charlotte anymore. I'm kitten, pet, slut, whore, bitch, or some other affectionately degrading pseudonym. After the noodles are done, I bring Audrey her plate and wait patiently for directions on where to sit. Where I eat is usually a good indicator of how far we're going to go that night.

"Floor," she says without looking up. "But you can speak."

I smile. Tonight is going to be good. Rough, but really good. I'm not going to be able to move in the morning, and I might not wake up in my bed, but so insanely good. I take my place on the floor by Audrey's feet and start eating while she pets my hair.

"How many chores did you do while I was gone?"

"Nine."

"Very good girl." She scratches the back of my neck and I shiver in pleasure. "You know what that gets you right?"

"My tail?"

"That's right kitten."

I smile in sheer excitement and anticipation. My tail is one of my favorite toys. It technically doesn't belong to me, but it goes up my ass, so I think that makes it mine. Audrey got it for me when we moved into this house. It's black and really soft. It's longer than most play tails, but I think it's perfect. Wearing it is a privilege, and today I've earned it. It comes with rules, just like the collar does. I'm a kitten when I wear it, like I'm a slave when I wear the collar. When I wear both, I'm nothing but an object, a toy. I only get both on special nights. I couldn't emotionally take being used very often. I get affection as a kitten, and sex as a slave. Both leave me tired, but being used leaves me so drained that I need a day or two of soft touches and words to recover. Don't get me wrong, I love it. It's just emotionally really hard to get hurt by someone you love. Great, but hard.

"Go upstairs and get in position." The order comes without emotion or hesitation, but I know she's excited. She's always excited. And a little nervous. Nothing like when we started though. We were so shy and embarrassed and unsure that we laughed through the whole thing. But now we know each other's limits and tells and body language, everything. We can just fall into play like this without having to discuss, unless we're doing something new. Then we just talk about it, as equals, and make sure we know what we're doing. I'm always in charge of research – Audrey doesn't have the patience or the attention span for it – so I get to bring up everything I want to try. Most of it gets her excited, but she'd always very insistent about not hurting me too badly, no matter how much I swear I can take it. My only hard limit is no head restraints; not being able to move like that terrifies me. But besides that, I try everything and cast judgement after. It's led to a lot of discovery and a lot of orgasms. Not to mention a heap of embarrassing failures. We're able to laugh through most of them. Once we were having some fun in our car and I lost our apartment key, leaving us outside, naked, stuck in a blue 2010 Mustang until Audrey broke the lock on the door. Cost us a couple hundred bucks to replace, but it seems hilarious now.

When I'm upstairs, I take off Audrey's hoodie and kneel at the foot of the bed. The position is intentionally uncomfortable. It took me a long time to learn how to hold it, but I can sit on my legs like this for hours now. I don't always like it, but it usually promises something fun in time. I'm never sure how long I'll have to hold this position. Sometimes it's five minutes, sometimes it's three hours. Any more than an hour leaves me unable to walk for a bit; I'm legitimately helpless for a while after. Hopefully it won't be too long this time, Until Audrey gets back, I'm not allowed to move or speak unless it's an emergency. I learned early on that "dangerous horniness" is not an emergency. I can still feel the beating I got for that. It hurt for days. The marks on my back were so bad that one of my coworkers asked if things were okay with me and Audrey. I laughed and promised that things were more than okay.


	2. Chapter 2

I tend to daydream at times like this, where I'm told to not do anything but one mindless task for a period of time. It's hard to get used to, but it's very fulfilling to simply meditate like that. That's why I sub. It's a catharsis. I've tried to describe the feeling scientifically to my friends at work (only the very close ones), on papers for my studies, or to other Doms at parties, but I never feel like I'm doing it justice. It's like feeling every sensation in the world and being outside your body all at once. I don't hear commands, I don't feel pain, and it's so amazing. Most who have felt it call it subspace. It's a defense mechanism to deal with extreme pain. Coming out of it can be really heard though. The first time I got really cold and shaky and freaked out when Audrey moved because I thought she was going to leave. That's why you need aftercare. Ours is usually cuddles and back rubs and a movie. It helps me calm down and get back to myself, and Audrey gets to pet me, so win-win. It's also important if I got hurt at all. The whip leaves some nasty welts if you use it right, and if you don't ice those babies walking becomes a non-option for a while. One started bleeding once and I've never seen Audrey so scared. She always panics whenever I get hurt, no matter how many times I swear up and down that I was okay. Sometimes I think she cares too much, but she wouldn't be herself any other way. She's the perfect Dom, and I would never change a thing about her. She's commanding, never forceful, and strict, but never unfair. She's kind, she keeps me in line, doesn't always give into my begging, and she takes care of me. She's perfect.

I tense when I hear Audrey coming up the stairs. It's not fear. I don't get scared anymore, not even nervous. Just really excited. I have no idea what's coming. Probably a punishment for insubordination earlier, but that could mean a lot of things. Spanking, blindfold, orgasm denial. Once I had to watch Audrey touch herself for an hour, and I wasn't allowed to do anything about it for a week. That was one of the worst. I was so horny it was painful. I know I shouldn't be getting myself excited like this; it'll only give her more grounds to punish me. But I can't help it. My mind just gets away from me and I get so excited for play time that I forget to behave. Then I get punished and that turns me on more and it ends with me sleeping curled up on the foot of Audrey's bed, completely exhausted, still wearing my tail and my collar because I was too tired to take them off. It's perfect. Not the life I always imagined I'd have, but I'm happy, I have a home, and I have the two best jobs in the world. Experimental psychologist who breaks all the rules, and obedient kitten who lives to follow them. It's a perfect balance for me. My work is stressful, Audrey's work is really stressful. Sometimes heartbreaking. But at home, on play days, we can usually forget all of that and lose ourselves in the power exchange and pleasure and pain. And afterwards I get to sit on her lap and be her pet while she plays with my hair and kisses my head. It's everything I've ever wanted. I've never felt so wanted or special. Or happy.

"Kitten."

I straighten my back when I hear my Mistress's voice, but I keep my gaze lowered. I know I'm not allowed to speak. From now until I'm released, my Mistress owns me. This is when playtime starts.

"Would you like your punishment or your reward first pet?"

"Reward Mistress." I always take my reward first when she lets me pick. It's taking all my will not to whimper in anticipation.

"Get up and bend over the bed now."

"Yes Mistress." I rise off of my knees and lean over the edge of the bed with my legs spread apart and wait for the sensation to come. I can feel the soft fur of my tail brush against my thighs while the cold metal plug presses on my asshole. I hold my breath as it slides in and fills me. It's one of my favorite feelings in the world. It's constant stimulation that keeps me on edge at all times. Plus the black tail makes me feel like an animal and very cute. But now that it's in, I have to take my punishment.

"20 for insubordination. Can you take that?"

"You know I can Mistress."

"Safewords."

"Rose, petal, thorn."

"Good girl. Are you ready?"

"Yes Mistress." I try to relax my body to prepare for the hit, but it's going to hurt no matter what. I feel her hand come down on my ass and flinch at the shock. The pain spreads through my body and I sigh in pleasure.

"No noise kitten, you know the rules."

I nod and focus on staying quiet through the feelings. I count every strike in my head. The first 10 are no problem, but after that in starts getting hard to hold in my sounds of pain and excitement. I've been through rougher beatings than this, but never with a noise restriction. Audrey notices of course, since I'm usually so quiet.

"Another noise and I'll have to gag you." I nod again, but I'm not sure if I can take much more without a gag.

The next strike hits a raw spot, and I can't help but cry out in surprise.

"Kitten," Audrey sighs. "All I asked you to do was contain yourself and you can't even do that." She walks to the other side of the room and picks up a red ball gag off of the dresser. "I'm giving you another 10 for disobedience."

I whimper. I'm hopeful she lets me rest after this. 20 is a lot, even with a gag. I open my mouth for the red ball and bite down to contain my moaning. The next 10 come hard and fast, but the gag doesn't allow my sounds to escape. During the last 5, I feel tears well up in my eyes. I could safeword, but I'm almost there and I don't want to disappoint my Mistress more than I already have. I feel myself fall deeper into subspace to cope with the pain. Then it's over.


	3. Chapter 3

"Come back to me baby."

The only thing I can hear is Audrey's voice calling me back to reality. I guess I blacked out a little there. All I can do is smile weakly back at her.

"Hey."

"How are you feeling sweetness?"

I'm too tired to answer, so I just pull her down next to me so I can hold her. I don't know how long we sit like this, but it doesn't matter. I'm exhausted and cold and I need to hold her so I don't drop. Audrey is petting my hair and kissing my face and I feel safe. After a while I can answer her question. "I'm tired."

"That's okay darling. You can rest."

"Thank you."

When I wake up again, I'm clean and warm. Audrey cleans me up after rough playtimes. Audrey is petting me absentmindedly while she works on her papers.

"Audrey?"

"I'm here baby."

I curl up next to her and rest my head on her lap.

"Can I stay here?"

"Of course love."

"How long was I asleep?"

"Only about an hour."

"I feel better now, I can go another round."

"I know you can sweetheart, but I don't want to push you too hard."

"Please?"

"Soon. I don't want you to drop."

"I haven't in forever."

"Let's keep it that way."

"Okay. Daddy." I add teasingly.

"Hush. I could still decide to punish you."

"But you won't beat me again right?"

"No baby." She pauses. "I'll make sure it's much worse than that."

My eyes go wide and I shiver. "Maybe we should wait."

"Good girl."

I snuggle back into her lap and listen to her heartbeat while she pets my back. I want to fall asleep like this, but I've already took plenty of naps and I want to do something fun. Audrey still isn't wearing pants, so I can see the scars from when we were younger. There haven't been new ones in ages. It's been really hard, especially for her. But we made it here. We're both genuinely happy. Audrey's still going to therapy, and things get bad sometimes, but not at all like they used to be. Now things are just good by default. The scars aren't going away. But they've faded. Sometimes, when we're not being rough, I like to kiss them. I think it's sweet, and it reminds me, both of us, that things are going to be okay. We made it through the worst parts of our lives together. Now we have the best to look forward to.

I kiss every single scar on her thighs and all the little ones on her pelvis. She stops petting me to watch. I kiss the little scar on her chest, the ones on her tummy, and all the faded ones on her wrists. I stop at her arm. There, right by her elbow, is the scar I'm never going to forget. It was the scariest one, and I worried about it for weeks. But it healed, just like the others. It gets an extra special kiss. She smiles at me. I think she's going to kiss me, but then she moves to the scar on the bridge of my nose. It's the only scar I really like because it was accidental and lead to me and Audrey meeting (long story). I love it almost as much as I love these moments. Just sitting together, kissing each other all over…

"Charlotte."

"Mhm?"

"Lie down."


	4. Chapter 4

I smile and lie on my back, completely vulnerable to her, but I feel safe. She kisses my collarbone, my chest, my tummy, and then a soft nibble on my hip that makes me shiver. Then she stops and comes up to kiss me again. "Are you okay with this baby?"

"More than okay."

She smiles and works her way down my body again. Her lips are so warm and soft on my body. This is my favorite kind of sex sometimes. Like right now. It's 'I love you' sex, it's 'You mean the world to me' sex, it's 'I've missed you' sex, it's 'I'm yours' sex. It's making love. And it's really good for both of us. It keeps me from dropping because it makes me feel loved and like we're just a normal couple. The power exchange is exciting and perfect, but we both need a break sometimes. It's good for Audrey to take sex slow sometimes. Even when we were kids, our therapist told us that we should slow things down to help her avoid getting scared. It seems like it helps a lot of the time. And I can hold her and kiss her and touch her body and love her. It makes me feel beautiful and important and treasured when she's gentle with me.

I feel her place a feather light kiss on my clit and I inhale sharply. I don't know how long she can stand teasing me. She's being romantic, but she's excited too.

I wake up the next morning to the smell of coffee. Not real coffee; I can't stand the bitterness. Warm, delicious mocha. I want it, but the bed is so warm and I'm so tired that I decide the coffee must come to me. "Babe," I call quietly. No response. "Babe?" A little louder now, but still nothing. "Daddy!" All the noise in the kitchen stops and I hear feet making their way to the bedroom.

"Morning kitten. Happy birthday!" Audrey kisses my forehead, despite the light sheen of nighttime grossness. That's how I know this is true love. "I have a couple of presents for you, but you have to get up and put on clothes. Deal?"

"Deal," I reply with a small smile. I get out of bed and throw on the first clothes I see that aren't covered in lust and sweat. The alluring scent of chocolate infused neurostimulant fills my mind and I have no choice but to shamble into the kitchen and hop up on the counter to wait for the food. We have a table, but I've found the counter to be so much more intimate that I haven't eaten a meal in a chair for three years. A cup of coffee and a chocolate muffin appear in front of me, and I'm starving for them, but I don't touch. There are rules in this house that were never spoken because they are clearly understood. One of them is that I wait for permission before doing most anything.

"Go ahead baby, it's your birthday; I'm not going to starve you."

I immediately tear into breakfast. I know today is going to be extra special, and that at least one of Audrey's gifts is going to be intense. Every year I get a new toy, and every year she insists that we start breaking it in the same day.

"You get two presents this year. You've been extra good."

"Only two?" I tease. Neither of us are really the type for material things, so holidays have always been more experience based. She places two small boxes in front of me, one square and one more like an envelope. "Which should I open first?"

"The envelope. You'll like that one better."

I carefully break the seal of the paper and take out a small card indicating a dinner reservation for 7:30 tonight.

"Oh Audrey it's wonderful! Thank you!" She smiles softly.

"Don't say that yet. You haven't opened your second present."

I untie the delicate black ribbon closing the box and take off the lid. When I look inside, I gasp. "Oh god…"

I hear Audrey laugh quietly from across the table. "Do you like it?"

My eyes are fixated on the tiny pink vibrator in the box in front of me.

"It depends on what you're going to do with it…" In response, Audrey pulls out her phone and in a moment, the vibrator hums to life. "Oh… God…"

Audrey is beaming at this point, obviously excited to torture me to the edges of consciousness as soon as humanly possible. I'm more terrified than anything, now that I very clearly understand what dinner is going to be like. "Think you can handle it kitten?"

"You know I can," I reply with a smirk.

"Well it's two o'clock now, and dinner isn't for a while…"

Upon hearing the time, I jump up and frantically run to get some clothes. "You let me sleep until two?!" I yell from down the hall.

"It's your birthday, and you looked so cute all curled up in bed like that!"

I return in an admittedly pathetic outfit, but I have exactly the same fashion sense as everyone at my lab – none – so it shouldn't matter.

I give Audrey a quick kiss goodbye as I hurry out the door. I spend the entire commute trying to think of a good excuse for being MIA for half of the workday, but all I manage to come up with is "family emergency." Everyone at work knows I couldn't give less of a shit about my family, so I show up on campus with no plan, an obvious hickey, and the aura of an unorganized hurricane. No one asks about my marks anymore; anyone who's ever been brave enough to mention them knew what they were and just wanted to share kinky adventure stories. I've met a startling number of people like that. Not all of them know the full extent of my relationship's power exchange, but the few that do are some of my closest friends. We exchange knowing glances in the corridor, and go on with our days.

I'm sure work was very important or pointless or interesting or boring that day, but I'm so caught up thinking about dinner that I don't do anything productive for the short time I'm there. I stay until six to try and make up a little, but I know I should get home and mentally prepare for brain-melting torture that I'm about to endure. I pride myself on my level of self-control when it comes to sex. I'm good, but I don't know if I'm "vibrator directly on my clit being played with by an evil mastermind in public" good. We could get kicked out. Maybe arrested. But those things make it very, very sexy. Audrey definitely thinks so.

Even on the way home, I almost can't contain my excitement. Audrey will have something absolutely scandalous picked out for me to wear; I haven't chosen my own outfits in almost five years. I doubt she went to work today. All of her clients schedule later in the week. She's had all afternoon to devise the evilest possible evening for me. I would bet my soul I won't even get to orgasm.

I'm shaking as I open the door. I go inside and find a pile of clothes, a necklace, a hair tie, and the vibrator on the table with a note.

"Get ready."

She's picked out a small black dress that barely comes down to my knees, definitely not appropriate for the place we're going, and obviously chosen with the intent of making me as vulnerable as possible. She knows how naked I feel in dresses, and that I would never wear one in public if I wasn't told to. I also notice there's no bra in the stack, meaning I'm not wearing one. I swear she's done everything in her power to keep me on edge at every moment. Even the hair tie is part of her plot. I always wear my hair down, even though she prefers it up. She makes me wear it up for sessions and, apparently, tonight.

The real centerpiece is the necklace. It's deceptively simple, as many day collars are. A delicate looking cord made of braided mahogany leather, connected in front with a small brass padlock. To anyone not familiar, it would seem like a creative, edgy piece of jewelry worn by some "non-conformist" millennial, but to us, it means so much more. As psychologists, we're not exactly millionaires, and I know this must have been expensive. I've been wearing the same day collar since we started this part of our relationship, a black plastic choker Audrey stole from a mall when we were younger and stupider. It's basically falling apart now, but I've worn it every day. This new one, though, will never come off. I'll need to find Audrey to put it on for me. Not only can I not unlock it, but it's part of the ceremony I know means a lot to her.

After I put on the dress and tie up my hair, I go upstairs to find Audrey for my collar and the vibrator. I don't know if I'm allowed to do it myself, and I'd rather wait then face a very severe punishment for breaking chastity without explicit permission.

I find her sitting on our bed upstairs, waiting for me to come to her. She takes the collar from my hands and I kneel in front of her without a word. Speaking would only tarnish the moment of clarity and devotion. This is a very different, under-represented part of the D/s dynamic. There are no commands, no harsh words, no pain, but the power exchange is more tangible than during any scene. There's nothing in my mind now, just serenity as I float on the very edges of subspace. I come back when I hear the click of the lock and feel Audrey's warm hands on neck. All I can do is smile and lower my head into her shoulder, so overwhelmed with love for this woman who has shown me part of myself I didn't know were there.

"Look at me," she says quietly.

I raise my eyes to see her soft hazel ones looking into me.

"You look stunning."

I smile as my eyes mist over, trying to hold back the tears that are certain to try to fall in this instant of total openness.

Audrey gently wipes my eyes with her thumb and places feather-light kisses on my eyelids.

"No crying on date night, okay?"

I let out a small laugh and nod into her chest. We just sit like that for what feels like eternity, enjoying the fact that we made it this far together.


	5. Chapter 5

After we spend a little while enjoying each other's touch, I feel Audrey shift beside me, signaling that it's time to get ready for the rest of the evening. As she stands, she helps me up with her. I'm still speechless from the intense emotion earlier, so I can only whimper softly as she reaches down between my legs to place the vibrator on my clit. She touches a hand to my chin and lifts my gaze to meet hers.

"Are you ready to go sweetheart?"

I nod in response. I know I'll have to start speaking again soon, but this still feels too perfect to dirty with words. I follow her obediently down the stairs and out to the car, the whole way feeling the toy rub and tease on the sensitive flesh. I try to hold in the tiny moans that want to escape. I don't know how I'm going to make it through a dinner with the thing actually on.

Once we're in the car, Audrey pulls out her phone. I open my mouth to chastise her for texting and driving when I hear a soft buzz and heat blooms from my core. The words get caught in my throat, and I see Audrey smile wickedly out of the corner of my eye. As soon as I feel the sensation, it's gone, and I'm left stunned and excited, my body aching for more. I can't help the moan that escapes my lips, earning me a sharp slap on the wrist.

"You won't make noises like that in public. It's undignified."

I make a vague gesture of affirmation, focusing all of my energy on preparing for the next assault.

After I relax from that, Audrey puts her phone away, as I insist she does every time we're in the car, and we have a conversation as mundane as any vanilla couple. We talk about the groceries I forgot to pick up yesterday, an adorable sweater she that she wants to buy for our cat, Bella, and other things that would probably be boring enough to tranquilize a moose, at least compared to what many of our evenings look, and, god forbid, sound like. Even though the D/s element of our relationship is present at all times, the power exchange is not always so obvious. We have normal evenings. And yes, there are nights where we don't have sex. At all. Just dinner, maybe a movie, and bed. If I was beaten within an inch of my life and fucked into the next dimension every night, I wouldn't have the mental fortitude to do anything but sleep. I need time to just feel like the loving wife.

Even after all this contemplation, however, there is an obvious mood shift. It's subtle. Audrey's body language is more deliberate even as she's getting out of the car. Her eyes are darker. She has a tiny, devilish smile playing across her eyes, and even though I know I'm not in any real trouble, I know I'm about to be punished.

"Come on, out," she says tersely. I stumble to my feet. Along with the already promiscuous dress, she has me in the most ridiculous heels. I've worn heels maybe one, two other times in my life, so I feel a bit like a fish with legs.

I don't want to think about his much this much have cost. The new collar, the dress, the restaurant, all of it is the kind of thing you'd expect to see in the movie life 10-year-old girls dream of. Besides the collar maybe.

As soon as we sit down I'm too excited and horny to look Audrey in the eyes. I know whatever look she's wearing right now will only make it worse.

"So, do you like it?"

I look up and see the hopeful eyes, begging for assurance that this is what I wanted.

"It's all perfect." I touch the cold, metal lock resting on my collarbone. "How did you know?"

I had been looking at this collar for weeks, being very careful not to tell her of my fondness for it, since I knew this would happen if she found out.

"You left it open on your laptop last week," she replied sheepishly.

I smile. "Thank you so much."


	6. Chapter 6

After we sit and talk for a little while longer, a waiter comes to ask us about drinks. As soon I go to speak, I feel a shockwave of pleasure that stops the words from forming. I stutter out a sound that was obviously on its way to being speech but didn't quite make it. The waiter gives me a look, seeming very concerned, so I take a moment to compose myself and make an attempt to ignore the electric sensation crackling through my core.

Blushing a dark shade of red, I manage to stutter out "water" before I have to shut my eyes and steady my breathing. I notice the server has left when the humming eases up a bit. I make eye contact with the seductive villain across from me and notice the sharp glint in her eye. I have to glance off before that look gets me even hotter than I already am. _So this is it,_ I think. _This is how I die._

The game continues much the same way. Whenever our waiter was near our table, the intensity went higher. When he was away, it was kept to a low tingle. She only turned it off completely once, so she could check on me before we continued. By the time our food had come, I was about to. I was reduced to a wobbly, oversensitive bundle of nerves, barely able to form sentences, let alone hold a conversation. Blessedly, Audrey stopped fiddling with the controls while we ate. The vibrator was still on, and still very much a sensation, but it was easier to focus on the rest of my body without the constant adjustments. I was so burned out and fatigued that Audrey had to remind me to eat the food in front of me.

The cruelest part of the whole ordeal was knowing that it wouldn't end with satisfaction, at least not for me. Not tonight. Tonight was a playdate, and I was just a toy. If my Goddess made me cum then it was for her pleasure, not mine, and tonight I knew she wanted me on the edge as long as possible.

Audrey stays true to the game until we were out the door, riding out my highs and lows for every shiver and suppressed moan they're worth. I'm ready to collapse. I have a vague awareness of Audrey paying and leading me out to our car, but I'm drifting through subspace now, not having the mental capacity for more than direct orders and sensations. As we near our apartment building, the lack of stimulation starts to bring me back to myself, very slowly.

"Audrey," I hear myself whisper intently.

"I'm here little one, we're almost home."

Now my mind has one persistent thought: her. Now that she's finished tormenting me, I need her affection and soft touch to recover. I need to come back to my body before I'm ready to function as a person. Depending on how rough the session is, it can hours or days to fully recover from a scene without dropping. Aftercare is always the best medicine. One of our kink friends gave us an aftercare kit as a wedding gift a long time ago, and we've been adding to and revising it for years now. It has our favorite blanket, some movies, gourmet chocolate, a couple of my stuffies, and a list of things that can't go in the box. One of those things is perhaps my favorite form of aftercare, massages. Audrey is fantastic at them, we get to touch each other, and it's relaxing. My other favorite thing is just cuddling on the couch and watching cartoons on Netflix. Anything gentle that brings us close more than does the job. Baths are another thing I love doing together. Plus, the heat is amazing for stiff muscles after kneeling.

I feel a hand on my shoulder as we pull into the driveway. It guides me out of the car, up the stairs, and onto the bed. All my clothes get taken off, and I lie on my stomach, too exhausted to fidget or fight. I feel a strong touch on my back, kneading my muscles to relax the tension built up from hours of edging. In the moments I sense myself realign with my body, my mind is clear. Submission is the most intense meditation, and definitely not for the weak, but in the end, it leads to clarity of mind and spirit. After I feel back in my own skin again, I can softly to Audrey. She answers by holding me to her chest, positioning my head over her heart, and I fall away into sleep, lost in her rhythm and warmth.


End file.
